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[ GARFIELD ROAST · POWERED BY CLAUDE ]

YOUR CODE
WILL BE JUDGED.

Garfield doesn't care about your feelings.
But he'll tell you exactly what's wrong with your codebase — with the brutal honesty only a cat with no deadlines can deliver.

POWERED BY CLAUDE
∞REPOS JUDGED
0FEELINGS SPARED
100%HONESTY RATE
naming a variable "data" is not a personalityyour 500-line function wants to speak to a managerTODO: fix this later = never. we all know itconsole.log debugging in production, bold choicecopy-pasted from Stack Overflow and didn't even read ityour README.md is a cry for helpthree nested ternaries? you absolute monsterthe .env was committed. to a public repo. in 2024.naming a variable "data" is not a personalityyour 500-line function wants to speak to a managerTODO: fix this later = never. we all know itconsole.log debugging in production, bold choicecopy-pasted from Stack Overflow and didn't even read ityour README.md is a cry for helpthree nested ternaries? you absolute monsterthe .env was committed. to a public repo. in 2024.
[ HOW IT WORKS ]

Three steps to
code humiliation.

Garfield wakes up, reads your repo, and delivers the verdict. He's done this in his sleep. Literally.

01 /
Paste your GitHub URL

Drop any public GitHub repo link. We fetch the files, scan the structure, and wake Garfield up from his third nap of the day.

02 /
Garfield reads your code

Powered by Claude, Garfield analyzes architecture, naming, patterns, and tech debt. He's seen worse. Not by much though.

03 /
Share the carnage

Get a shareable roast card, screenshot-ready for X. Because your suffering is content, and content is king.

[ WHAT GARFIELD FINDS ]

No bug goes
unroasted.

Garfield has a list. He checks it twice. Then he judges you for needing the list in the first place.

01 /
ARCHITECTURE

God objects, circular deps, functions with 300 lines trying to do 12 different jobs.

02 /
NAMING CRIMES

Variables named 'data', 'info', 'stuff'. Functions named 'doTheThing'. Garfield weeps.

03 /
SECURITY HOLES

Hardcoded secrets, eval() calls, wildcard CORS, missing validation. He will find them.

04 /
TECH DEBT

TODO comments from 2019, console.logs in prod, magic numbers with no explanation.

05 /
DEP BLOAT

47 packages to render a checkbox. node_modules is 800MB. The logic is 18 lines.

06 /
NO DOCS

README says 'coming soon'. Installation section says 'TBD'. Garfield says goodbye.

FREE
3 roasts / day · no account
FAST
Results in under 60 seconds
SPECIFIC
References your actual files
SHAREABLE
Screenshot-ready card for X
[ EXAMPLE ROASTS ]

Garfield's greatest hits.

github.com/someone/my-todo-app

"A React app with 47 dependencies to render a checkbox. node_modules is 312MB. The actual logic is 23 lines. I've seen simpler architectures in Egyptian pyramids."

OVER-ENGINEERED
github.com/dev/portfolio-2019

"You have a file called utils.js that contains 800 lines and a function named doStuff. This is not a utility file. This is a confession."

NAMING CRIME
github.com/startup/backend-v3

"The error handling strategy is: catch the error, console.log it, and pretend it didn't happen. Garfield respects the audacity. Not the architecture."

YOLO ERROR HANDLING
github.com/learner/first-api

"Every function is called from main(). No separation of concerns. This isn't spaghetti code — this is spaghetti that achieved sentience and filed for IP rights."

ARCHITECTURAL CHAOS
github.com/coder/ml-project

"You committed your .env with AWS credentials. In a public repo. Garfield is too tired to even be angry. Please rotate your keys and reconsider your life choices."

SECURITY INCIDENT
[ GET STARTED ]

Ready to be
brutally honest?

3 free roasts per day. No account needed. Just a GitHub URL and a thick skin.